Holiday Stress Management
Tips for Surviving the Season
Holiday stress is common and most inevitable. Whether you are planning the perfect dinner party or getting ready to visit friends and family, stress finds its way into our lives almost instantly around the holidays. Between planning, shopping, cleaning, cooking, wrapping and making sure everything is just right the stress and pressure that comes during these times can be overwhelming. What should be a happy, wonderful time to make special moments and memories with family, friends and loved ones, often becomes a time of unwanted stress and anxiety. Stress can steal your joy and keep you miserable when in fact, you should be embracing what is most important to you. Thankfully, ther are things you can do to make these times less stressful and more successful.
Helpful Tips for Holiday Stress Management
Some of the most helpful tips for holiday stress management are listed below.
Plan Ahead - When it comes to planning a less-stress holiday, it pays to start early. There is nothing worse than feeling pressure as the time draws near and not enough planning has been done. So whatever it is you want to do, think about it a few weeks in advance and start planning ahead.
Stay Within Budget - The last thing you need is financial pressure. Give yourself and allowance for the holidays and stay within budget. Nobody looks forward to "play now, pay later"! If you stay within budget you have less stress in the long run because you don't have another burden to carry after all is said and done. Realize that holidays are not about money. Real love is unconditional and is a matter of the heart. Of course, we want to do nice things for those we love, however, it's important to remember that money can't buy love. Spending too much will only cause more financial stress, so be realistic as your budget allows. As the old saying goes..."the best things in life are free". Planning special times with those you love is a priceless act of love. It sends a louder non-verbal message of "you are valuable to me" than an expensive material item. What kind of messages are you sending those you love during the holidays?
Do Not Overload Yourself - It helps to stay realistic about what you can handle. It takes a lot of energy if you are the one planning holiday events and gatherings. So, consider the time you actually have to plan, the budget, and the situation you want to be in after it is all said and done. It is okay to put limits and boundaries on things.
Take Breaks - "Full speed ahead" is not manditory. It is okay to take a break, to sit for a minute, to have a drink of water or put your feet up. You are human, not a robot. Time with family matters and those memories should belong to you also. Take time out to enjoy those around you and enter into real conversation. BE in the PRESENT MOMENT!
Say NO when you need to say NO! - It is okay to say NO to people. Many times, invites become too much with already existing schedules. You do not have to say yes to everyone all the time. When we pressure ourselves to BE and DO for everyone, we lost very sight of ourselves. You are important. Your health and your stress level matters. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your schedule, it is okay to cancel things and make room for what is most important.
Keep Your Healthy Routines - During the holidays it is tempting to push forward, giving up sleep, our health exercise routines, healthy eating and even giving up time that serves our mental health. It is during stressful times when we need to pay attention to this the most. So, be sure to make time for sleep and exercise. Of course, diets always change a little during the holidays and we find ourselve splurging a little - this is also okay, just do not go overboard. Many people find eating bad for an extended period brings on migraines, brain fog, low energy and sleep also suffers. So, always consider how you can stay within healthy limits to avoid playing "catch up" with your physical and mental health.
It is OKAY to NOT be PERFECT - There is no place for perfectionism, especially around the holidays. Things are NEVER perfect. Things go wrong, unforseen circumstances occur - It helps to be OKAY with how things happen, no matter what the original plan was. If you feel like you are "drowning", then maybe it is time to just ACCEPT, FLOAT and let time pass. Focus your thoughts and energy on what truly matters.
Remember, You Cannot Please Everyone - Many of us have people in our lives with high expectations of us. You must remember that it is NOT your job to make others happy, especially, at the cost of over-extending yourself to unhealthy limits. If someone else is unhappy, that is their own problem, not yours. There are those that take the entire burden of the holidays upon themselves. They are usually the ones that host the party, but don't ask for help. They do all the work, smiling on the outside but overworked and resentful on the inside. They could also be those who feel it's necessary to bounce from house to house in order to keep everyone happy. This is often seen in families with children.
Encourage Yourself - When things do not go as planned, AFFIRM yourself with truths surrounding your situation. Much of how you feel is based on your internal self-talk. It is much easier to accept what you cannot control than it is to be upset. FOCUS your mind on everything good, everything that brings joy, and just live in the moment with those you love and care about.
Ask For Help - DO NOT allow your pride to get in the way of this one. Believe it or not, noone places these pressures upon you, but you. Most times, people are willing to help out if you ask them. It can be a big help when everyone can chip in together. It helps to see that working together and helping eachother out during the holidays is also a time for connection and bonding.
Create An Atomosphere of Relaxation - If you want things to be relaxed, you might need to send this message by keeping an attitude of calm also. If you are stressed out, it may also stress others. Create a relaxing, informal atmosphere where everyone feels they can be themselves. Watch alcohol consumpition as with many families, drinking can get out of control and even contribute to family conflict and stress. Consider your guests, if you have children, or those who have trouble with addiction. Many times we can do without alcohol - and drugs should not even be considered. Remember, you create the life you want by what you allow into your life and your home. If you do not want certain behaviors, make it known ahead of time or just do not invite those who do not respect you.
Cancel Your Plans If You Are Sick - Again, you do not have to be everything to everyone, but, you DO have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Your health and the health of others matters greatly. So, take great consideration if you are not well. Life happens sometimes and we need to make sure we do what is best for all.
Be Good To Yourself At ALL Times - If you do not want to do something, then DONT. Be real with yourself, always! If you would rather stay home and relax, take it easy or do something different than you usually do - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Again, people-pleasing is not what life is about!
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Dealing With Family Stress and Conflict Around The Holidays
The holidays can be difficult when family and friends unite and one of your relationships is struggling or unhealthy. It could be that you are not getting along with someone in your family or even a friend. During the holidays, we can't always control the comings and goings of other people. Sometimes we are forced into gatherings with people we prefer not to be with.
Always Choose to Under-react - It's easy to react negatively to someone we are not getting along with. Controlling your emotions may be
difficult but not impossible. By making the choice to under-react to the situation, you are giving yourself permission to accept things for the way they
are without adding more "fuel to the flame". Even if you are provoked to anger by the other person, by choosing to let it go, you are choosing
a more peaceful path.
Choose to Forgive - This can be the hardest decision to make, especially when someone has wronged you or is just plain
difficult to deal with. However, you must remember that forgiveness does not mean that you are letting them off the hook for being
accountable for their behavior, it just means you are accepting the way they are...like it or not. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Why? Because when you choose to forgive, you are releasing yourself from all those negative emotions you have stored up inside. Besides,
forgiveness doesn't mean you are opening up the door again the same way, but you are now putting boundaries on your relationship. You owe it
to yourself and others to be more tolerant during the holidays. Nothing can destroy a special day like a negative outburst...so keep yourself
and your own attitude in check.
For more information on dealing with family conflict and stress, including how it affects your health, natural medicine that can help alleviate your unwanted physical symptoms, and many tips on how to overcome it, visit Family Conflict And Stress.
Dealing With Negative Emotions During The Holidays
The holidays are a time when a lot of people feel lonely and sad. Many are suffering loss, estrangement, loneliness, and other challenging circumstances. At a time when most families and friends are gathering, there are those that do not have many people in their lives. Some have lost people they love and facing the holidays without them are extra painful. It is important to remember that not everyone looks forward to the holidays and that for many, this is a time for
unwanted feelings and emotions. Believe it or not, for some, depression is at the highest point during these times, unfortunately, many even consider
suicide as a way out of their pain.
Please Read: Mental Health and The Holiday Blues by the National Alliance of Mental Illness
If you find yourself in a crisis during the holidays, PLEASE ASK FOR HELP!
If you are thinking about harming yourself, or know
someone who is,
tell someone who can help immediately!
Call your doctor.
Call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room to get immediate help or ask a friend or family member to help you do
these things.
Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255); TTY:
1-800-799-4TTY (4889) to talk to a trained counselor.
Make sure you or the suicidal person is not left alone.
You Do Not Have To Be Alone
One of the things you can do if you are suffering with loneliness or other negative emotions during the holidays is to GIVE to others. If you consider holidays to be sad, lonely and depressing, you can help yourself by helping others that are suffering and in need. There is a world full of people who could use your help. You can volunteer to help in a soup kitchen, you can reach out by giving a gift to a needy family. It is always through giving that we receive. If you need hope, give hope to someone else. If you need friendship, be a friend to someone else. It is a gift in itself, to be a gift to someone else. You will be surprised at how it feels to give to those in need. You are NOT alone!
For more ideas on taking care of yourself and the stress in your life, please visit Effective Stress Management Strategies
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