Obsessive Thoughts Taking over my Life

by Pete
(USA)

Hey All, I'm 20 and have been experiencing anxiety and obsessive thoughts for the past 6 years. Recently it has become worse. I have this obsessive fear that someone is out to hurt or even kill me. It runs through my mind all day and night and the more I try to convince myself its not true the worse it gets. I tend to analyze situations that have arose in the past with people and connect it to the "what ifs's" now. I had been bullied throughout High School and it has followed me to college. About 2 years ago I had a problem with another kid and he seemed to give me a hard time and hate me for no reason. My mind keeps obsessing about this because I'm afraid to run into him at school. The way my mind thinks is that he keeps giving me problems because he wants to kill me but, in reality I think he's just being a bully and really doesn't care at all about me? I have also received a blocked phone call with my name about a year ago saying my name and that I owed them money and they were going to kill me which has made my anxiety skyrocket. I don't owe anyone money, it sounded like a prank or foreign fake call, and I never heard from it again. I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through anything similar to this. I read these articles and say wow that's exactly how I think yet, my mind tells me that my situation is different and that my fears of being killed are real. I do have a great life but, these thoughts are taking control and I can't stop them. Help please!

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Oct 24, 2012
 It's only anxiety.
by: Susan

Hi Pete,

As common as the symptoms are for all anxiety sufferers, it's not uncommon to think that we somehow have a "worst" case or we are just not the same. I think there is an underlying fear in all sufferers that we are "different" and so there's a fear of "what if" and of "hopelessness".

Anxiety is so predictible. It follows the same patterns for everyone. Anxiety loves to surround itself around the "fear of loss of control".

Paranoia is completely normal with anxiety. It's the fear of what MIGHT be, not what actually is. Because you were bullied for years in High School, I think your fears are pretty common to go that direction. So I do not find your thoughts to be abnormal. But I do think you are over-estimating the likelihood of them happening. I know this simply because they cause you so much fear.

Whatever you do, don't look at everything you think under a microscope - I am sure you have heard the phrase "analysis creates paralysis", so don't think so much on this stuff.

Take time each day to focus on the positive in your life. It takes time to overcome the mental torment of being bullied but with every new challenge you bring to yourself and every new, positive, truthful thoughts you think --- you strengthen yourself in confidence to be all who you were meant to be.

Obsessive thoughts can be so consuming! Don't wish them away, just acknowledge they are there and don't make a big deal about them. Accepting these thoughts as "only thoughts" really shrinks their "bullyness"!!

Try and see your obsessive thoughts as a "bully" in your own mind --- when they try to dominate, you ignore them! Acknowledge their existence but you deflate their importance by choosing to put your mind on something else.

This is not easy to do and it does take some practice but I promise that the more you work at choosing truthful, positive thoughts the easier they will come and you will naturally see the results with time.

Don't give up - one day at a time!

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