OCD and Depression
by V. Laguna
( Mairate, GA. US)
It started when I messed up in my relationship after that I had so many things I didnt realize about me. Saw all the things that where wrong with me. It made me feel hopeless, faithless. I felt lost, scared, mad...everything. I tried blaming others. I think evil, scary things now all the time and it is making me feel that there is no hope, like I messed up with God. Now I'm scared I might not get a chance because to be honest, I tend to be lazy sometimes. I dont want to change because I dont know how. Im scared to grow up or fail so Im stuck, plus I dont want to ruin other people lives. I want to make God proud but I feel like all the things that I thought of disappoints Him. All this kills me inside. I never thought this way, its like...I'll be sad then angry. I dont want to blame God or anyone. This is my fault, I need to take responsibility. Now Im always scared that I'll think mean thoughts or I'll mess up again. I dont know how to move forward with God.
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